Have you ever considered the approach of your inner dialogue?What I mean by this is, how does your inner voice speak to you? Does it use negative or positive language? Does it put pressure on you, or does it show you compassion?Believe it or not, our inner dialogue, our self-talk, has a significant impact on the way we approach things.The messages you tell yourself will either encourage and motivate you, or they will limit and supress you because they are negative.Let’s say you’ve got a presentation to do at work and you feel incredibly nervous about it. Your self-talk may be along the lines of “I can’t do this, I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say, I’m going to trip up.”Under these circumstances it’s likely that you won’t perform to your best of your ability, you’ll let nerves consume you and you won’t enjoy the experience.In contrast, telling yourself “I can do this, I’ve worked hard on this presentation, I have lots of interesting things to share with my audience” there’s a greater chance you’ll be engaging, deliver your content well and actually enjoy giving the presentation!Positive and empowering self-talk can boost your confidence, make you more resilient and help you to reach your goals more quickly.Here are some steps to improve your self-talk.

1. Listen

The first step to improving your self talk is to analyse what it’s like at the moment. That might sound like an odd thing to do but is a great way to truly understand how you speak to yourself. Try it when you’re next faced with a stressful situation and make a conscious effort to listen to the words you choose when you think about your approach. It can be helpful to write them down and observe yourself a couple of times to see if there are any reoccurring themes.

2. Say No

If you habitually speak to yourself using negative language it can be hard to break the flow. One tip is to say the word “no” when you notice a negative thought. Actively stopping to point these out not only makes you more aware of your own self talk, it halts those negative thoughts and allows you to reframe them into positives.

3. Use Affirmations

Starting each day with some positive affirmations is a great way to overcome any limiting self talk/beliefs. Affirmations are short statements that gain power by repeating them. An example could be “today is going to be a great day” or “I’m going to smash my goals today.”  Making them personal to you will enhance their meaning and they’ll carry more weight. Making these positive statements part of your everyday routine will encourage you to genuinely believe in them and you’ll start each day feeling motivated and energised.

4. Be Compassionate

No matter how positive we are and how hard we work, there will always be times when things don’t go to plan, that’s just part of life. However, these are the times when those doubtful and negative thoughts can creep in and have a long-term impact on our mindset. Let’s say you didn’t reach a goal that you’d put lots of time and effort in to, telling your self “I’m a failure” over and over again is damaging. Instead, your self-talk needs to be compassionate. Ask yourself how you’d speak to a friend if they were in the same position and use that approach on yourself.

5. Surround yourself with Positive People

How you talk to yourself makes a difference, but so does the language used by others. Being surrounded by negative or anxiety provoking language will impact how you feel about situations. In contrast, spending time with people who look at the positives, set goals and build each other up will have a positive affect on your mind set as well as your internal voice. You’ll believe you can, and you’ll encourage yourself and others to achieve.Self-talk ultimately impacts how we think, how we feel and how we behave so getting this right can make a big difference to setting and reaching our goals.Spend some time reflecting on your inner voice so that you can notice when it becomes negative or critical. Simply being aware of it will give you the power to change and improve.Remember: speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend or a loved one, I guarantee you’ll notice a difference in how you feel!